Boners In The News!

I don’t really think that I’m out of line when I say that a bunch of grown men pulling a kid into a room and injecting him with a drug that will cause him to get a boner and then taking pictures of said boner is a fucked up, terrible thing. Yet that’s exactly what seems to be on the verge of happening in Manassas, VA as retribution for a 17 year old guy texting a picture of his boner to his 15 year old then-girlfriend during a sexy text exchange. The girl seems to have texted pictures of herself to the boy as well, but it was the girl’s mom who found the boner on her daughter’s phone and after a little good old fashioned parental freaking out, the cops got involved. The cops decided that the most effective route to justice would be to charge the boy for manufacturing child porn (his picture of his own dick) and distributing child porn (sending said dick to his gal). The girl would not be charged. The problem, though, is that even though the cops have the pic of the boner and can clearly see that it came from this boy’s phone, they can’t prove the boner in question is the boy’s 17 year old boner. SO, they brought him to the police station and took pictures of his dick, but since it was presumably terrified, it didn’t look enough like the dick in the picture to be considered a positive ID. SO, the cops have decided, as I mentioned at the beginning, that they’re gonna bring this kid back, inject him with bonermaker and take pictures of his hard on, all so they can charge him with manufacturing and distributing kiddie porn (a life ruining charge) because he sent a dick to a chick in exchange for some tits. The kid’s guardian has said he has no plans to facilitate this weirdness, and the cops have replied with a ‘fuck you. We’re doing this, by force if necessary.’ I hope this is horrifying to you. Can you imagine if this exact situation were reversed and the cops decided they needed a photograph of a 17 year old girl’s aroused, moist vagina and they were going to use force to get said photo if the girl and her family wouldn’t acquiesce to said violation? It’s fucking outrageous. I’m not trying to invoke some sort of ‘poor men’ argument here, I’m just trying to wrap my head around how insane this whole thing actually is. In order to ostensibly prevent sexy texting, cops are charging children with child porn charges and producing their own child porn to facilitate said railroading?!??!?! It boggles the mind. There is literally never a time when a bunch of men injecting a minor to get them aroused and then photographing their genitals is okay. It’s just not. I don’t think this is a particularly controversial statement. I just can’t believe that this is the course of action adults are taking, and that a court actually upheld this crazy idea as the way to best proceed. There are a lot of dark things that go on every day. There’s unreported rapes and children starving and corrupt pigs and all sorts of terror in this world. I understand why it’s easy to just want to ignore it all and keep your head down. For whatever reason, this one hits home to me. I was lucky enough to have been a teen when there were no cel phones. If there had been cel phones, y’all would have pictures of my dick. That’s for sure. This is just such a gross, disgusting, vile thing perpetrated by a very dirty, warped nanny state, violating children in the name of protecting them. Tweet at the Manassas PD and let them know what you think of their methodology or call the Commonwealth attorney’s office where the mastermind of this idea, Claiborne Richardson works here: The Commonwealth’s Attorneys Office is located in the Judicial Center at 9311 Lee Avenue, Suite 200, Manassas, VA 20110; Phone: 703-792-6050; Fax: 703-792-7081; email:   Cool. Thanks! Send me pictures of your dicks. 18 and older pls.


UPDATE: Apparently this kind of thing is frowned upon and the cops have decided not to go through with the boner photo (yay!). They’re still charging the kid with the same crimes though (boo).

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5 Responses to Boners In The News!

  1. wump-lumps (midwest frumps) says:

    Do I need to ask whether Claiborne Richardson has jiggly gobble-gobble turkey jowls? Hehehe! Anyhow I didn’t realize VA is THIS retarded. Obviously my kneejerk assumption would be that this is some “Taaayxis” shit.

  2. wump-lumps (midwest frumps) says:

    Do I need to ask whether Claiborne Richardson has jiggly gobble-gobble turkey jowls? Hehehe! Anyhow I didn’t realize VA is THIS retarded. Obviously my kneejerk assumption would be that this is some “Taaayxis” shit.

  3. stab yo fuckin brain wif yo nose bone says:


  4. delicate faggoty sensibilities (tread lightly!/chronic asthma) says:


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