So, here’s a question that I’ve been pondering lately: Would you rather suck off a guy with a dog penis or a dog with a perfect and gorgeous human penis? Originally, the question involved fucking, but really, once the dogpenis goes in, you’re just fucking a guy, right? And in the case of the dog, you’re uh…well you get the idea. So blowjobs it is, just in the name of keeping shit interesting. What’s your answer? Being face to face with a dog penis is gross, no two ways about it, but to me, to ME, mind you, being face to face with a human penis is gross too. All things considered, I would say you have to go with the human man with dogpenis, gross as it may be, because sucking off a dog with a human dick is still sucking off a dog, and it’s not JUST my distaste for the aesthetics of the dogpenis that keeps the dicks on dogs out of my mouth, lo mein?
This brings me to today’s topic: otherkin. You guys know about this? These are people who don’t identify with their species…so it’s a dysphoria, but instead of feeling like you’re trapped in a body with, say, a gender you don’t identify with, it’s a species. Still with me? Okay, cool. So hold on for this next part. It’s my understanding that it’s also not always just that you feel like you’re, say, a fox trapped in a man’s body, but that you’re maybe an ANIME fox trapped in a man’s body, but it doesn’t end there. Often, otherkin folk ascribe nationality to their true selves, so it plays out more like “Hi, I’m Brendan. I was born an American human male, but I identify as a Japanese, blue, Anime fox.”
Lots of this obviously manifests online and doesn’t go much farther than avatars and cyberbanging in weird virtual situations, but there are instances of otherkin folks genuinely seeking to be recognized as the German Cartoon Razorback Hogs that they identify as, which leads me to the question, what do you guys think of this?
Now, I bring up the man-with-dogpenis vs. dog-w-manpenis hypothetical above, because I have to wonder how much this stuff is just anime fetish (a la bronyism) and how much of this is real, honest to god dysphoria. As in, does a Japanese anime fox have a human wang or a fox wang in this exercise? Is it a true feeling that one is actually a fox, or is it something more akin to furryism disingenuously posing as a genuine feeling of profound dysphoria?
My hunch, and I’d like to stress that this is just a hunch, is that it’s a bunch of nerds who just don’t like being themselves and wish they were in their comic books. I know, sounds harsh, but uh…you gotta be fucking kidding me. Feeling like you’re trapped in the wrong body has to, HAS to be one of the most profoundly painful feelings in the world. There’s no other explanation for why people would go through the huge, expensive, physically uncomfortable and, unfortunately, socially unaccepted task of transitioning. To equate your desire to be sonic the hedgehog with this truly painful, very real and very misunderstood issue is fucking lame. It’s lazy and it encourages people who don’t have any firsthand experience in dealing with this kind of thing to dismiss everyone with dysphoric issues as bullshit artists, which is, to put it mildly, unhelpful.
Here’s the thing: people have been suffering by virtue of being born into the wrong body since time began. However, I bet…I BET that there were no pre-internet otherkin. I could be wrong. In fact, in the spirit of journalistic integrity, I’ll google it now.
Okay, a swan has posted a list of truths about otherkin, and I guess I’d like to point out that 1) Apparently the ‘silver elves’ started writing elven loveletters in the late 70’s. They were, ahem, elves. 2) bullying someone for the way they roll is just mean, and I’m not trying to bully anyone here, however 3) if otherkin is a situation that doesn’t require or even lend it self to therapy (according to the swan) then 4) it’s still pretty fucking disingenuous to lump it in with real issues that real people suffer real mental and physical anguish over, innit?
That being said, cool, weird world we live in. I’m glad that weirdos are free to be weird and that the internet’s helped everyone to find other like minded people to party with, and that’s not me being facetious at all. I mean it sincerely. What do you think, folks? Any pandas or seaslugs out there wanna share? I’m all pointy ears.