Anthony Weiner seems like he’s probably not the best husband in the world. He sends pictures of his dick and dirty texts (or ‘sexts’ to use the parlance of our time) to people he meets on the internet, and potentially in real life too. I don’t know. An important aspect to these dirty texts is that there’s not really any playfulness involved, as in, they don’t seem like jokes. There are texts that are like:
Her: I’m bored.
Him: maybe you should send me a picture of your tits. That sounds like a fun, interesting way to pass the time, right?
And then there are texts like:
Her: I’m bored.
Him: Well, why don’t you reach down and play with your wet pussy while I stroke my big thick….
You get the idea. The first one is crass and lame, but pretty innocent. The second one is just dirrrrrrrrrrty. Anthony Weiner (using the TOTALLY KICK ASS pseudonym ‘Carlos Danger’) is sending the second kinds of texts. The dirty ones. This seems like a lame thing for a married guy to do.
BUT, what the fuck? We don’t know what his deal is with his wife. We don’t know. She may LOVE that he sends texts like that to strange ladies. That may be the only way she can achieve orgasm. We don’t know. OR, maybe she HATES fucking and just wants him to leave her alone. Again, we have no idea.
Everyone in the media is so quick to sensationalize and sexualize everything one second, and then immediately turn around and puritanically condemn any bit of lasciviousness without any regard for anything at all, except for what gets the horde a-hootin and a-hollerin. That’s the endgame, so however it plays best, that’s where everyone’s setting their moral compass. It sucks.
Gavin McInnes first gained fame as a hilarious guy who helped start Vice Magazine and conceptualized/wrote the Vice fashion Do’s and Don’ts which many people credit with being ground zero for the ‘hipster movement’ (whatever the fuck that even means anymore). He’s super opinionated and a funny writer and I read an interview with him once where he was asked how he decides if something is a Do or a Don’t and his answer was essentially: I just look at it and figure out which way would be funnier, and that’s what I do.
This is a refreshingly honest peek inside the up-for-public-consumption world of making stuff, and in about 99% of cases, it’s what everyone does. Just go the easy route. Miley is in the news, and you’re tasked to do a story on her. Well, what’s a better angle: that she’s super hot and sexy and nothing’s gonna stop her now, or that she’s out of control and needs some guidance before she winds up dead? Both articles can be written based on the exact same behaviors, by the way.
The narrative of Britney Spears was so fucking rambunctious that it blew her to smithereens. First, she was a super sexy, jailbait virgin. The media LOVED this. They put pictures of her tits next to headlines that said “Britney talks: Why I’m Waiting For Marriage.” They were eating 2 desserts a night during those days. Then she started being dirty and “Britney’s all grown up” started accompanying the pictures of her tits. THEN the narrative changed and she was “OUT OF CONTROL” alongside the pictures of her tits. And then they just started piling on the shame, even though she was just a young hillbilly girl who got some money, got a little wasted, married a dildo, shit out some kids, got divorced and went on with her life LIKE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON EARTH DO. She was, however, bullied into insanity by the world at large. Defined as sexy, celebrated for being sexy and then condemned for being too sexy. Totally fucked.
Now, Anthony Weiner is not sexy. Not to me, at least. He seems sinewy and veiny and he’s got a penis and I don’t find any of that to be particularly arousing or sensually interesting. But the fact is, if his wife ain’t leaving, it’s not really our business and more to the point, we don’t know what their deal is! I have a friend who is married who’s allowed to fuck whoever she wants as long as she’s not in her hometown. I know people who date, and who are porn stars. I know people who just say things like “Well, I’m just gonna get some now and then” and their spouse knows about it and it’s just an unspoken arrangement. Whatever fucking works for you…it works for me. I don’t care. I’ve got my own marriage to manage without worrying about what makes yours tick. So, if Mrs. Carlos Danger seems like all this is not that big a deal, why the fuck do we care? A few answers:
1) He’s a politician so he’s a role model for blahblahblahbityblah.
2) Because it’s not the way marriage should be.
3) Because dude, Carlos Danger? That shit is fucking AWESOME!
1) fuck you. This is so patently out of step with everything that matters on earth that I don’t even know where to start. People in politics do things like approve chicken laced with arsenic for public consumption and put nuclear waste dumps near schools and start arbitrary wars and kill innocent people just so they can get re-elected or serve the special interests of some shitty lobbyist. You’re telling me that somehow sending a picture of your dick is more of a betrayal of the ‘political role model’ ideal than KILLING PEOPLE?!?!?!? What goddamn planet are you from that you’re more afraid of dicks than bombs and poison?
2) You’re an asshole. Your ideas are your ideas and you should be able to find a compromise in your own relationship where your ideas are expressed and at least tolerated, but get the fuck out of my business. Get out of everyone’s business. If people are exploiting people, kids, animals etc, that’s terrible and obviously should be stopped. But two consenting adults doing what they do? Fuck it. Why are you more up in arms than the people involved? Relax. I even find it weird that people have problems with guys that (for example) fuck their cars. Who cares? Fuck your car. Fuck the shit out of it. Invite your buddies over and gangbang your car for all I care. Sheesh. Not my business. This just seems like some nosey neighbor shit and everyone hates the nosey neighbor.
3) Totally. Totally. I’m so on board with this. That’s why I’m writing this right now.
Of course, there’s the chance that Weiner’s wife is just weak and scared and has nowhere to go and is put upon by his relentless sexual appetites and so on, but I don’t THINK so. She works in Washington and seems like she’s pretty driven, careerist and not a total wimp. Maybe she’s just suffering through this for the sake of her political career, but honestly, that seems like a weird move. Maybe it’s because she’s Muslim and she’s very devout, whatever. Who cares? Her business. She’s not being kept in a box or a well. That much is for sure so fucking buzz off. “CNN perspective: Why Does Huma Abedin put up with Anthony Weiner?” How about this for a counterpoint: “When did CNN become the National fucking Enquirer?”
But Carlos Danger, that shit is awesome, and that IS the kind of mysterious moniker that’ll keep the ladies around, even if you’re naughty. Especially if you’re naughty.