Wow, so starting this blog back up after finishing the tour updates is a lot like getting out of a long term relationship. On one hand, it’s liberating. Suddenly, the possibilities are endless. BUT, at the same time, I have no idea what the fuck to do. It’s been a while since I’ve just gone off the cuff with this shit, and as a result, I feel a little bit out of my element. The tour updates were so nice and easy in that all I had to do was remember shit that happened, write down said shit and then stop when the day I was remembering ended. Now, I’m free of those constraints and the new laissez faire and potential whimsy are both liberating and defeating.

I think of all the missed opportunities that passed me by while I was doing the tour journal, in much the same way that I used to get out of a relationship and then kick myself for not boning someone who made it clear that we could have boned just because I was in some dumb relationship that was destined to end anyway. I mean, fuck…I missed the chance to talk about Tom Cruise and Scientology, Legitimate Rape and the whole controversy centered around the coverage of dead white people in a movie theater vs. a lack of coverage of dead Sikhs in a temple. I also didn’t bone this one girl that studied art history at Columbia and said vaguely racist things (but was SO hot) just because my dumb girlfriend at the time would have frowned upon the whole endeavor.  Complete bullshit.

That’s life though. You take some paths and others close. For example, if I’d decided when I was 16 that I really, truly wanted to keep playing hockey (something I did from when I was 4 until 16) I could have slugged it out in some horrible junior B Ontario organization until I got shit out into the crappy subhuman leagues and wound up playing “pro” hockey for the New Mexico Sandpipers. That would have been a sweet deal until I turned about 30, at which point I’d be kind of where I am now. OR, I could have decided that my entire existence needed to revolve around suing the shit out of people. I could have become a lawyer like my dad, brother, sister-in-law and cousins, and when we all gathered for thanksgiving, instead of having that awkward “so how’s the band doing? Got any gigs?” conversation, we could just talk about shitty depositions, compare horrible, dying clients/victims and laugh about whatever lawyers all laugh about when there are no non-lawyers present (sick dogs? The rapidly dwindling potable water supply?). I suppose that technically I could still go to law school and continue in the family business…lord knows I’m argumentative and capriciously cruel enough…but it doesn’t seem like the move for me right now.

My wife’s birthday is today and my birthday is on Saturday (I’ll be in Toronto at the Bovine Sex club hosting a night of awesome fun and acoustic singalongs with Chris Cresswell of the Flatliners, and Chuck Coles of Organ Thieves along with DJ Limo of Backstage Passport fame providing all the jamming Hedwig showtunes you can handle) and as is standard for people who are starting to get old, birthdays bring about a lot of self examination and questions about if our lives are on the right track.

It’s hard to say. I mean, I could have been a lawyer, or I could have delved into finance or porn or any number of businesses besides music and writing, but I don’t think I’d be as good at those things, for one thing. For another, I wouldn’t have seen the world in the capacity that I have and I wouldn’t have been able to provide all of you with this, the award winningest blog in the history of the Midwest, and all the various crappy songs that I’ve shat out over the years. I think we can all agree that would be tragic.

So, here I am. As my 35^th year draws to a close (technically, it’s my 36^th, I suppose. I wouldn’t bring this slightly confusing technicality up [you become 36 at the end of your 36^th year, but it’s not colloquially comprehensible to state things that way] except the internet has become the sort of place where some asshole is always gonna correct you, take your sarcasm or self effacing joke at face value or generally miss the spirit of what’s going on in favor of being a smug dildo that no one cares for) I find myself, once again in a world of self doubt and self assessment. I can’t just figure it all out today, but I WOULD like to weigh in on that Colorado/Wisconsin shooter thing real quick if I could. I know I’m way late to the party, but bear with me:

The reason that the Colorado shooting made such a massive splash in the news compared to the Wisconsin one is not because of racism. Now, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that racism isn’t alive and well and that middle eastern folks, especially those who practice a religion that dictates their style of dress, aren’t some major victims of racism…it is and they are. AND I’m not even saying that the American public at large doesn’t care more about the death of a room full of good old fashioned god fearing Christians than they do about some foreign seeming people with wild customs and bizarre clothes that look an awful lot like them terrorists. That racism and xenophobia shit is strong here. There’s no denying it.

The reason, however, that the Colorado slaying got so much more press (besides the fact that it happened first) is because it’s completely senseless. There is no rhyme or reason to going into a theater and opening fire on a group of strangers. The Sikh shooting was equally horrific and sick, but it was motivated by something. It was motivated by racism and xenophobia, hate and fear. There’s a compartment for that in our brains. There is no compartment for someone just walking into a public space and shooting people with no agenda whatsoever. I’m actually a little shocked that so many people jumped to racism so quickly and ignored the vastly more obvious reason for the media sensation: One was a racist act carried out by a braindead hick and one was a completely out-of-left-field slaying perpetrated by a deluded, red haired kook, with a tie-in to the biggest movie in the country. If you were actively MARKETING these two crimes, which one do you think would get more press?

I mean, shit. I get it. I don’t like the shitty state of affairs in this country any more than the rest of you non-idiots. Jingoism is now a positive trait, reckless foolishness is celebrated, excellence is frowned upon, Honey Boo Boo is considered to be the seventh seal (she’s not even close, folks. Shit’s gonna get WAY worse than Honey Boo Boo before the bottom falls out of this boat.). It’s a bummer. But the difference in coverage for these two crimes was because of lazy journalists, not racist agendas (though, to be clear, the one crime itself was born of a racist agenda, so there’s that).

Eh, whatever. Happy birthday to the wife. She’s still super hot.