Welcome! Come in!

Nerds, hoes, dweebs, musclebound turds, wallflowers, aspiring artists, voyeuristic accountants, pencildicks, pudwackers, dildos, dongs, clams, beavs, prudes, sluts, priests, clerics, puppet dictators, guys with herpes, girls with hairy legs, queers, queefs, punks, drunks, mongoloids, bearded rabble, cantankerous old shitheads and middle aged ladies everywhere, welcome to the new, improved Bad Sandwich Chronicles!!!!


Oh, thank you. No, thank YOU! It’s been a long and winding road to get here but finally, at long last, we’ve done it. We’re here on a brave new frontier, far away from the bullies over at blogspot, all thanks to you, the readers and me, your overlord. It bears mentioning that a guy named Derek set this up for me and I don’t really know how to drive it yet, so we’ll see what happens once the comments start and stuff like that. Will I be able to respond? Will I even figure out how to successfully post this very update that I’m typing right now? Will I?????? Only the baby jesus himself knows for sure, but I did manage to get all the archives over here (with a ton of help from the aforementioned Derek), so that’s saying something, eh?


Truly, everything’s gonna be exactly the same but there are a few nice little features I’d like to point out. Firstly, as you can see at the bottom of each update, there’s now a way to tweet BSC entries to your twitter followers or Facebook friends. Also, a hot hermaphrodite will be around every fifteen minutes with cocktails and oral sex for anyone who shows up smelling like they just took a shower. There’s also a picture of a sandwich up top. That’s pretty cool.


So, Dogs Of War, as we embark on this exciting journey, just three short years after this crazy little blog started (and only about a year and a half since that awesome professor used to post comments in the sock drawer) I just have one thing to say to you all: The Lawrence Arms will be playing some shows in the Midwest in January, including a hometown show at the Metro on the 7th. Get your tickets now, as shit’s coming up quick. I’d like to see each and every one of you. It also bears mentioning that these shows are pretty isolated in terms of schedule, so if you want to see us play and you like to travel, you may wanna make the journey. We’ll announce the rest of the dates probably tomorrow, but yeah. Just wanted to put something on here that’s newsworthy so people can note the new address. Okay, as you were. I got shit to do.

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36 Responses to Welcome! Come in!

  1. Hamilton Martin says:

    so is this “legitimate blogging” now?

    • Big Robb Cratchit (all grown now~!) says:

      Hamilton I missed your exciting news on KFC’s ‘Thanksgiving bowls’ the other day. Hot diggity damn! I’ll just assume you to be our direct line to all things KFC from here on out

      • Big Robb Cratchit (all grown now~!) says:

        ^ Boy howdy these times are way off! I mean, that comment says Dec 1, 12:42am. This implies I’m in Tokyo or something…don’t wanna give the wrong idea

      • Hamilton Martin says:

        I can assure you I will always maintain a direct line to all things KFC; If I can’t get my McD’s French Fry/KFC Gravy fix I’ll be robbing motherfuckers like that dude from Coheed & Cambria

  2. Yeah! All you non-Chicago Sock Drawer 2.0: The Bastard Son of The Sock Drawer people heard that? Jay, Nerd, Anthony…all y’all. Lets get that Sock Hop on!

  3. josh says:

    looking forward to the StL show on the 12th!!

  4. JD says:

    Congrats on the move. I’m finally able to comment without hassle. Be wary however… WordPress gets sketchy if you don’t stay on top of the updates. You’ll be hosting Korean printer sales and 982 boner-pill comments before you know it. Take my word, it’s happened to me, and I LOVE boner pills.

  5. Mark says:

    ‘Mail Bag’? C’mon. It needs to be ‘Male Bag’.

  6. Barry says:

    Man, i really wish a kentucky show would get announced. Or at least cincinnati. The larrys and lagwagon are about the only bands that i haven’t seen yet that i actually give a shit about.

  7. nizzle says:

    Its a little far from az to make the show, so ill just watch the 10 yr dvd. Oh waitvim screwd

  8. dustyfloors says:

    Pretty fucking fancy. I’m stoked because I can now leave comments here at work and now get “surf control”led…
    Cheers. See ya at Metro on the 7th.

  9. banana@1000mph says:

    Yeah, I can’t see shit that I’m typing. Yellow on white, Brendan? Come on.
    Anyway, I’m curious what dictates “hall of fame”

  10. Tim says:

    Planning on making the drive to Cleveland to see you guys and my buds Signals Midwest.

  11. Troll 2 says:

    Who meeeeee? Well, ya know, let’s not pretend it’s not entirely obvious who I was. Like any decent novelty alias, I retired it before shit got too stale. I mean, that’s why ya got all of two posts from Francis ‘Swinging Utters’ Gynotitz. Oh and what Banana said. Jesus fucking shit.

    Wow Brendan, aspcial thanks in advance to both you and Derek for making shit easier to troll tha neverr

    Ya know, I was about to thank both you and Derek in advance for making this shit easier than ever to troll, but then the thought seized me–is this actually a brilliant potential deterrent to trolling/anonymous horse puckey? After all, part of the recurring fun factor of a healthy troll/novelty aliass stems from the satisfaction inherent in thinking of and taking the time to create said alioas’ “account” and corresponding details. I mean, now anyone can be fucking virtual visor or Professor Thelonius Jiggariasus and, well, that’s bittersweet. Oh, and fuck this goddamn comment window color scheme, as pointed out by Banana oddball

  12. Troll 3: The Second Sequel says:

    What that was was, uh, the beginning of one comment “dfraft”, which I forgot to delete, followed by my final thoughts. All presented together in one schizophrenic capsule thanks to – case in point – this fucking Homer Simpson comment box

  13. Troll IV: Human Trollipede Ouroboros (Full Circle) says:

    Upon further consideration, I guess. we should all be thanking you for what amounts to a mere change of address, and not a full-on “mandatory facebook login” merger…which would’ve secured your throne of tyranny right alongside Hunter Moore

  14. It's A-Me, Marconi~!I mean, it's me, Macchiarelli says:

    These new digs are kind of like where a friend much larger and/or careless than you borrows your shirt and when you get it back two months later it;s “the same ol’ shirt!”, buuut it hangs looser on your body now and there’s an inexplicable permanent grease mark on the collar and generally it’s just 30% shittier and less fun now. Hehehehe ohhh my! Was this a collaboration with that ‘Sock Drawer 2’ nonsense? God fucking damnit

  15. Dan says:

    Nice. Now on with the show!

  16. Little Robb Cratchit (little knob, catch it!) says:

    Well apart from that lil’ burger graphic which seems straight off the kids’ menu at some quaint family-owned seafood restaurant in Niceville FL (Dothan, Alabama), I’ll get used to things I guess. Oh, and the merch link. That kinda ruffles my feathers a bit too, but I wasn’t consulted, so, ya know. Oh and, sheesh, this comment box! Hehe! I see it’s been remarked on by people that matter less than me, but, yea. All in all, shits awful. All in all, I’m amazed how easy it’s been to cast Dark Knight Rises out of mind entirely in order to avoid spoilers.. I mean I’ve got the basics, like how Anne Hathaway looks fucking retarded on that batpod. Eww imagine how hairy her nostrils are in their hypothetical natural state. All in all, with any luck Kevin won’t be able to follow the bread crumbs to the new joint? Aww nawww, I’ve utmost confidence in your tracking skills, ‘Pathfinder’!

  17. I’m working on fixing the comment box. This IS pretty fucking retarded. I agree.

  18. kanthackit says:

    when does the DVD come out anyway?

  19. to the tune of hot in here by fergie (its gettin hot in here/this is a piece of shit)and so on………….

  20. this is a piece of shit/do de do de doo wop

  21. Gergdrib says:

    No RSS? I have to check back manually, how?

  22. Big Robb Cratchit (all grown now~!) says:

    Boy howdy, that Honda commerical where that family breaks out in that A cappella rendition of Crazy Train is annoying as shit

  23. Anonymous says:

    Bad Hamburger Chronicles.

  24. Drunken Acron says:

    You mean I got a google account for nothing. Dick.

  25. Brian says:

    Congrats on your fancy lil website.
    Now, add RSS or I’m outta here.

  26. sprunt says:

    just set the feed url to http://www.badsandwichchronicles.net you savages.

    worked fine for me.

  27. johnnylostcause says:

    change scares me

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