Hey dildos! It’s Monday and you know what that means, right? That’s right! It’s time to talk about the grammys! Now, I know that grammy is short for gramophone, which is appropriate, as the gramophone is an out dated dinosaur of a machine, and what better synecdochic metaphor is there for the music industry, am I right? Woot. That’s galactic poetry again, folks. Anyway, I was gonna make a joke about how the grammys could be named thusly because it was nothing but out of touch grandmothers and shit up there, but well, a few things happened. First, I realized that the gramophone thing was better, then I didn’t watch the grammys, so, well, this is what you call post modern, utilitarian, formalist comedy by way of essay. This is the future. The grammys, and music in general, is the past, man. Quit living in the past, kay?
I don’t really have a lot to talk about today. I’m tired. I was up late and I got up early to take my kid to his new school where all he seems to want to do is cry and reach for me and really put the screws to me in the whole daddying game. Wow. That’s not interesting. Uh, what else?
I have a show this Friday at the Mutiny. It’s free. I’m playing with Joe from Smoke or Fire, in honor of our cool new acoustic split record that’s coming out. Also, I guess punknews and some other fine folks are doing some auctioning for the people of Haiti, and one of the items you can bid on will be the test pressing of said record. Pretty exciting. It’s an analog leak. How future primitive.
Okay, I just ate a cheeseburger the size of my face, and I lost my atm card and I think I may need to take a nap. Also, I need to know where a good spot for hip hop in Chicago is. Like a bar, or a club or even a store or something. Any ideas? You’d be helping me out immensely.
I feel like there’s something else big going on right now that I’m just leaving out of this, but I’m tired and I don’t feel like thinking, so I’m gonna go rub cocoa butter all over my body and fall asleep on the bathroom floor like I usually do on Mondays.
Toodlooo hoes!

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14 Responses to yawn…

  1. LR says:

    Not sure about clubs or places, but my friend did a couple music videos for a guy who raps under the name "Phillip Morris," and he's pretty good. So, there's a start.

  2. dustyfloors says:

    I am so out of touch on the hip hop tip. I listen to stuff like Atmosphere, Brother Ali, Felt, Murs, P.O.S., Aesop Rock and think I'm in touch with what's going on today. Ugh. I miss Pac.
    That wasn't helpful was it? I could have kept all of this to myself. Sorry Beex, it's Monday for us socks too.

  3. Candice says:

    ahh! i want that test pressing! can i hire someone to place bids for me via phone?

    looking at you, amanda.

  4. Jayzilla says:

    speaking of amandas — i hear that place is pretty hip

  5. Sean says:

    one, 21 guuhhhuuuunsssssss!

  6. Uncle Buck says:

    The Bassment, maybe? It's on Ashland just North of Milwaukee.


    I don't know if that's what you're looking for but it's a good starting point since it's got the blog with some mixtapes and announcements for shows, etc.

  7. Blake says:

    I heard of this really cool and new hip hop group called the Insane Clown Posse.

  8. Sickie27 says:

    If I cried and reached for you from the crowd, if you ever decide to play somewhat near Atlanta, would you pick me up and put me over your shoulder? Important questions.

  9. Jesus says:

    "I’m playing with Joe from Smoke or Fire, in honor of our cool new acoustic split record that’s coming out."

    Uhh. What. How get. Me want. You give? Now.

  10. myassisapipebomb says:

    city sports in uptown, city sports in wicker park. it looks like hip hop shit is sold in those stores.

    just walk around downtown til some dude comes over to sell you his CDR and ask him where shit's at in the city.

  11. scott. says:


  12. john says:

    there's a store on the first floor of my building called Jugrnaut. the dudes that run it are all in a hip hop group and they constantly have hip hop artists coming into the store for signings and things. just a thought. its at 427 s. dearborn.

  13. patnazzaro says:

    the bassment on ashland is definitely the spot. i got myself a hot shirt from there that says "i am chicago hip hop". i am not but its still a stellar tshirt.

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