Monthly Archives: February 2010

fuck it. We’re doing six blades.

Posted on February 18, 2010 by

I have a hairy chest. It’s been hairy since I was about seventeen. Oh, relax. It’s not gross and it’s not thick and brillo-y but it’s definitely an even covering. I’m no sellick, or Reynolds, but I’m definitely no Zac … Continue reading →

Posted in things tommy wiseau and I have in common-it's more than I'd like to admit | 31 Comments

Ann Landers is a boring old biddy!

Posted on February 17, 2010 by

Well, well. It’s Wednesday. It’s tot swimming day over here, which is pretty exciting. Also, it’s uh…what? Um, well, fuck. That’s about it. I suppose I’m playing at Reggies with the Smoking Popes this Friday, which should be cool. I’ve … Continue reading →

Posted in dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks | 23 Comments

evacuate the dancefloor!

Posted on February 16, 2010 by

Gentlemen: It’s night. You’re at some dumb bar/club. You’ve been drinking. You want to get laid, or perhaps you just want a blowjob. You begin to notice that all the girls that feature the kind of external indicators that get … Continue reading →

Posted in dumb finger tattoos and other exciting new trends | 31 Comments

down in the dumps

Posted on February 15, 2010 by

Okay, so I’ve got this billion dollar idea and I figured, what smarter thing to do than to just broadcast it over the internet, right? Right. Okay, so here goes: As some of you may know, I’ve got a kid. … Continue reading →

Posted in new chili recipes to try with mom | 17 Comments

something and vicodin…you’re talking shit again -or- Huh huh huh huh!

Posted on February 12, 2010 by

Okay, before we get started here, I’m playing at the metro in Chicago this Sunday, which is Valentines day. The show is a benefit for Darfurian refugee children, which is a pretty good cause. I go on a little after … Continue reading →

Posted in home remedies for baldness and stupidity | 22 Comments

hey now!

Posted on February 11, 2010 by

Holy shit, man. Yesterday’s sock drawer contained the best comment ever. From a german guy talking about their version of American Idol. Here it is. “man…. as i’m a german i don’t know that much about howard stern. but what … Continue reading →

Posted in six ways to make that revolting fart stench work for you | 28 Comments