inter BSC office memo, please read:

I’ve realized something pretty fucked up today. Okay, let’s start at the beginning. Today, my kid slept until almost 8. that’s usually about the time I’d ideally like to shuffle him out the door so I can get back here before work and write this and catch up on emails and all that shit, right? Okay, so today we were running late. I just got him put into baby jail. It’s 9. I’ve gotta leave for work soon. Now, I’ve got all this stuff floating around in my head, little snips of songs, new shit, stuff I’ve written that I need to fine tune, and lots and lots of lyrics (mostly terrible) to sift through. BUT, I’m sitting here writing this instead. I’ve started prioritizing writing this blog over writing music. When I think about it, it’s really crazy. This time, this morning time when I have the house to myself is the ideal time for me to work on music, and yet I don’t. I sit here and write various vagina based hilarities and erudite social commentaries to you people, mindlessly whittling my time away. I must be fucking retarded.
I mean, let’s be frank. I started writing this thing last year as a sort of different type of outlet when I knew I was gonna be suddenly whisked off the road and trapped in my house, like a caged bird typing dick jokes between various catnaps and cups of coffee and beers. Well, here I am, doing everything I can to have just a little bit of output over here and where’s all my creative energy funneling to? Here, the BSC mainframe. Is that right? I don’t know. I just don’t know. I mean, on one hand, I’m still exercising my mind and entertaining assholes, but on the other hand, the very reason that lots of people read this is because I’m a musician. This is like, the greatest paradoxical quandary of all time. It’s like when superman had to give up his powers to be with lois lane, or when Sophie had to choose. Eh, maybe that’s a little overdramatic. I don’t know. I just got a new guitar. I should be fucking around with that thing right now.
Well, I’m not gonna figure it all out today. Maybe I need to write this at night and then post it in the morning and THEN work on music. That would be sensible, but I’m often tired in the evenings and I think most of my entries would be me bitching about being tired or complaining about one of my various dildo friends or coworkers. Nah. That’s no good. I dunno. Like I said, I’m not figuring all this out today. Just trying to lay out what’s going on here, as it’s (again) a fucked up quandary.

On another subject: What’s coming soon? The BSC best of 2009 awards as well as the BSC BEST OF THE DECADE awards. If you missed it last year, (check “It’s the end of the year as we know it”, parts 1 and 2) where we here at BSC tabulate all our votes for our various favorites and then celebrate the wondrous diversity that is our planet by mocking everything and presenting as many awards as possible to ourselves. It’s a great time. Last year, at the after party after the ceremony Jennifer Lopez drunkenly shit into a box and gave it to Ben Affleck, telling him it was a new gift for violet. HEYOOOO! The claws come out when the stars come out to play, boy. Let me tell you.
Anyway, we expect just as much pomp and circumstance at this year’s gala event, so get your tickets now (send your credit card number and a picture of your tits to the email address linked from this page) or, if you’re a cheap fuck, simply wait for me to publish the results right here in the next week or so. Okay, all right. I’m gonna go play guitar with this remaining seven minutes.
Huh…maybe if I just double my productivity all my problems would be solved. Or quit my job. That’s not bad either. Okay, hope you turds have a good weekend and you’re all getting stoked for jew Christmas, cuz I think that’s coming soon, right? Good. Okay. Bye.

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39 Responses to inter BSC office memo, please read:

  1. Mark says:

    It seems like just yesterday that I was reading your year end list. Time sure does fly.

  2. Kevin Burnett says:


  3. Buddy says:

    Geoff Nunburg (prof @ School of Information-UC Berkely) wrote a really interesting 6 min piece that aired on NPR entitled: "Whats the Word? How English Evolved This Decade."

    Really interesting for anyone interested in lists and lanuage.

  4. dustyfloors says:

    Can't wait. Love the year end lists! I wonder just how BSC is going to sweep all the "best of decade" categories having only been around for a fraction of the decade. This is going to be great.

  5. Eddie says:

    what kind of guitar did you end up getting?

  6. Jayzilla says:

    lets be frank:

    i started reading this blog because you were in a band that i enjoy listening to the music that it creates (maybe too much)

    i keep reading this blog because i throughly enjoy what you have to say (and not just stupid band stuff — id rather keep imagining that its way cooler anyway, like maggie star pouring tall glasses a champagne during recordings and flying first class to new south whales and rad stuff like that)

    anyway — i appreciate where your heads at.. and yeah, another record would be cool as well…but com'mon now, we have a bond

    oh yeah, +1 for friday posts! looking forward to the year end wrap up!!

  7. Candice says:

    jayzilla, let's be real. you started following brendan's blog in an attempt to get closer to chris.

  8. Sean says:

    So your friend Tom didn't include Buttsweat and Tears on his "Best of '09" list…

    … I think YOU shouldn't include his ne…. oh yea, he hasn't come out with anything new…

    That being said, do YOU know anything about Against Me's new album? cuz I sure as hell don't after watching all their studio updates… heh

  9. amandatague says:

    Hey Sean. Funny you should ask about that next Against Me! album. You see, Tom Gabel is actually making an attempt at Reinventing Axl Rose by becoming the orgcore equivalent. As such, prepare for about 18 years of studio updates before the album, called North Korean Capitalism, comes out, is only available at Best Buy, and totally fucking blows.

    I just hope that Tom, unlike Axl, realizes that only Xzibit looks good in a football jersey and cornrows.

  10. Bradley says:

    This blog > music.

  11. kylewagoner says:

    I don't know about all that stuff Bradley said about this blog being better than music. Better than Chaucer? Quite arguably, but I don't know about music.


  12. Sean says:

    jeez, am i the only one who is actually excited for the new Against Me! album?

    every song ive heard so far sounds great!

    My christmas wish is that they don't throw vocal reverb and a drumtracks into the mix, like Butch did to tom's solo stuff (although I still thoroughly enjoyed it)

  13. laurabm says:

    forget this blog, dude. your music is way more impt. work on making those shitty lyrics less shitty. i'm sure all the nerds who read this everyday imagining it equals some sort of kinship will cope with less updates (not saying i'm not one of those nerds, but i try to cut it down to a few times a week).

  14. FranklinStein says:

    i'd like to know what it takes for a comment to get deleted by you. you should save all the comments you delete and then post them as an entry to show what you regard as "unacceptable". that would be delicious!

    let's bang,

  15. Banana@1000MPH says:

    Sean, they recorded the album, then after everyone left, Tom added in his personal recordings of a sea lion orgy in the foreground of every song. Unfortunately, his sea lion orgy recordings were not quite as long as the album, so the one album without the "sea lion orgy treatment" is the final song, an a capella song about how expensive it would be for Tom to get a sex change and weighing the price against how proud his mother would be and then ending with a list of names he is contemplating going by.

  16. Banana@1000MPH says:

    "the one song" (not album)

    and also, Franklinstein, BK has been over this – he doesn't delete any of the posts – those are deleted by the authors of the posts.

  17. Sean says:

    sooooo banana, i take it you're…. NOT… excited for the new AM! record?


  18. Sean says:

    Brendan, please don't stop your blog…

    I tell ya, it just keeps getting more and more dynamite!

  19. Toto says:

    the new am! album made me think about that one time that i took a dump after having a bath, it's just wrong.

  20. Sickie27 says:

    Not only is writing a blog more hip than writing music, a new blog comes roughly 5 times a week!!!

    Also, question: What kind of guitar should I get? I'm super small with super small hands and fingers. And I'm not all about a heavy ass guitar that will give me scoliosis. Also… I'm teetering the line of being poor.

  21. Sean says:

    get a fender squire mini…

    they're cheap and tiny.

    … and cheap.

  22. Banana@1000MPH says:

    Sean, you've got me all wrong. I actually liked that song from New Wave that had a gatorade commercial for the music video and the b-sides were pretty all right. I'll check out the new one.

  23. tx! says:

    Anyone has a copy of that sea lion orgy? Sounds awesome!

  24. Sean says:

    oh nonono, i disliked new wave quite passionately… but i am still excited for their NEW upcoming cd… the songs ive heard from their not-yet-released album (with their new drummer) sound amazing…

    thus, i am fairly stoked.

    new wave just didn't cut it for me…

  25. Luke says:

    Hey Brendan,

    I'll be away the next few days so I thought I'd type this now…

    Merry Christmas! Be safe and be good.


  26. Josh says:

    New Wave was one of the biggest musical dissapointments I've ever had.

    Completely lacked the energy AM! usually brings and Tom's lyrcial content went from amazingly tounge-in-cheek and smart on Clarity to just… bleh.

    I hold out hope for the new album to be a redemption though.

  27. JSIN says:

    What JackStarnes said…

    Oh and… Happy Holidays Dogs of War!

  28. Mark says:

    Merry Christmas everyone

  29. Sean says:


  30. Mark says:

    I've been meaning to buy that. How is it?

  31. Sean says:

    its amazing!


    Brendan, is that REALLY Mike Park's number that you gave out at the end??

    I just called it and it said "this is mike, leave a message, have a great day!"

    So of course I left a message.

    This DVD was the best gift ever!

  32. chris says:

    that slapstick reunion show was amazing

  33. Candice says:

    i feel neglected.

  34. Dugamancer says:

    I feel the same way Candice.

  35. Sean says:

    I'm hoping that this extended absence means that when he comes back, BEEX will have a brand new song or 12 for us…

    It could be a christmas miracle!

  36. Drunken Acorn says:

    I miss BK.

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