Monthly Archives: August 2009

This aggression will not stand, man!

I went to the theater last night. What a bunch of fucking goofballs theater people are, am I right? It’s all loud chicks who talk about fucking all the time, overweight hams, gay guys and those woefully out of place … Continue reading

Posted in I went from a size 22 to a size 3, thanks AIDS | 33 Comments

u’membah me?

Yo! Nation! How’s it swingin? Sorry, I know it’s been a while since I rapped at ya, but I’ve been busier than an Islamic fundamentalist with a ticket from boston to new york on a flying whorehouse lately… Today would … Continue reading

Posted in after hours, Ashley Blue, blasphemy, buttfucking, enemas, foot fetishists, jazz, Monstercocks.com, potpourri, sean nader, snow globes, the Chelsea hotel, the necromomicon, tonsilectimies | 15 Comments

Anoooooooo, Duuuuuuuuuuuude!

Okay, so today I have to go back to work. After all this high glitz and Hollywood glamour, I have to go back to asking people what kind of dressing they want on their salads. After meticulously listening to mixes … Continue reading

Posted in bacon chedddar, ham and swiss, tuna on a pita, veggie delight | 29 Comments

Death to all Tyrants!

Yesterday, I smoked cigarettes on a swingset and sold weed to some highschool kids while a very patient group of about 25 mexican men waited about 45 minutes to play soccer on the field that our film crew had cruelly … Continue reading

Posted in abe lincoln and other fun exhumations | 15 Comments

dude, strange things are afoot…

Yesterday I rode a bicycle made for a six year old girl for four hours. I also smoked ten cigarettes and drank a lot of apple juice. I usually never do any of these things. But fuck, man, this is … Continue reading

Posted in fellate your way to the top | 19 Comments

I’m fucking crazy, man. You don’t wanna mess with me, man.

Pretty much anyone who ever tells you something that a normal person wouldn’t ever say out loud is full of shit. Think about it. You know when you hear someone go “I’m crazy, man. I just don’t give a fuck!” … Continue reading

Posted in felching | 20 Comments