what a gyp!

I’ve got a bad feeling in my soul. My phone is fucked. It’s an iphone, and I recently discussed how fucking genius apple is at making disposable technology, so I know I’m screwed. I know there’s nothing they can do. I know some smug dick is just gonna shake his head and kind of giggle to himself and look down and say it’s out of his hands. AND I know that I’ve got the choice of going back to some bullshit abacus-like ancient piece of crap phone or shelling out what? Five hundred bucks for a new one? Fuuuuuuck. It’s irritating because the phone’s not TOTALLY fucked. It just doesn’t make sound or deliver sound unless it’s in headphone or speaker mode. SO, technically, I can still use it as long as I don’t care about other people hearing my conversations and/or walking around like a fucking lunatic with my headphones in just talking to the sky. I’m bummed. I can’t even handle this shit today, as I’ve got to go to some strip clubs in Indiana to research a project I’m part of. Art is hard, man. Don’t let ‘em tell you otherwise.
My wife’s out of town, and my baby is at daycare. I’m about to take my bike to the gym, and then I’m gonna go, like I said, see what the finest in Monday day shift strippers off the highway in Indiana have to offer. It’s gonna be great. If my phone worked, I’d say it was a perfect day, but alas…
I’m tired. Sunday nights kill me. It’s funny. It’s almost the only bearable day that I work at that shithole, but it makes me so exhausted that it’s almost not worth it. I mean, as per my usual routine, I go to bed at 930, not 330. that’s enough to really fuck someone up, you know?
Okay, so I really have to get moving. I’ve got to guess some muffs, figure out if a few chicks are filthy, and generally dust off my dick, brush my teeth and head out the door. Like I said, I’ve got some strip clubs to get to, and I’ve gotta be back here by 630 to get my midget out of daycare. I can’t just be sitting here typing to y’all in this situation. It’s masturbatory. Okay, I’m out. And listen, before you start thinking that I’m slighting you with a short entry, consider this, I almost didn’t write today at all. This is all gravy, man.
Okay, time to put on my same underwear from last night. Bye.

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17 Responses to what a gyp!

  1. Tim & Rac says:

    i once threw my phone out of a car window doing 60 by accident… it was fine. I also put it on top of my car once while strapping my son in the car seat, forgot about it, and it flew off. I drove around looking for it and it was fine. For some reason the phone gods like me. who knows.

  2. meo150 says:

    apple thinks they are cool but theyre becoming a bunch of jerks. you buy a 300+ phone and then they charge you an extra 60 bucks so youre covered in case the phone is defective. i dont know how they can tell you this without laughing in your face. its best to just pay it and then come back a different day and re-label the desktop icons on the imacs as curse words

  3. Jayzilla says:

    please let tomorrow have pictures
    please let tomorrow have pictures
    please let tomorrow have pictures

    ::fingers crossed::

  4. admp says:


    Come on down and party with fellow BSC readers.

  5. Kira says:

    i'm pretty certain if your phone is under a year old you can still take it the genius bar at the apple store and that it should still be covered under some sort of warranty.

  6. AndBurnTheRest says:

    I just lost my job and had to turn in my company phone as a result so I went and got the last generation iPhone (3g) because it was only 99 bucks with a 2 year plan. The plan is reasonable and I'm stoked the phone only cost me 99 bucks, but if it breaks on me I'm probably up shit creek until I land a new job…and of course I need the phone to chase down interviews for male stripping, roto-rooting, hoagie making and other such things that I am highly skilled at.

  7. Vincent says:

    Monday afternoon strippers eh. Best time to go. Not only do you get the JV B team, but you'll probably get a cheap buffet.

    Isn't it crazy that gas has gone up from like 50 cents a gallon from the 80's to $2.50 a gallon now. And getting tits slapped in your face was and always will be a dollar.

  8. CrgFlxbl says:

    I don't know, Vincent, all the experts agree the price of tits is only the same because of deflation caused by the recession. Indeed, it has been forecasted that the price of tits will dramtically increase by the end of 2010.


  9. kylewagoner says:

    im the closest to Chicago I prolly ever have been. im at Cedar Point. ttly rad, d00dz. kk, ttyl.


  10. Nikki says:

    If your iPhone is really fucked, you might want to consider a Tmobile G-1 or one of the new google touch phones. I wanted an iphone awhile back, but while I was making my decision my ipod died after about 2 1/2 good years of service. So, I went with a g1 for $199 and couldn't be happier. I also heard that iphone screens end up fucking up eventually (which I'm sure is true of anything, but apparently they are really bad). @ Kyle – cedar point is 3 hrs from me (although I've never been).

  11. J.A. Falduto says:

    man someone verify my sock drawer message board account already! i got important science to drop!

  12. Dan says:

    my brother's iphone did the same thing…then it just magically started working fine again…so maybe you are in for the same outcome. My microphone works sporadically on mine but that is because some shit head left melted chocolate in the cup holder of the work van and uhhh yea. bullshit. I guess that is what I get for working in a fudge factory.

    I'm going to see the cobra skulls, the sidekicks and the menzingers tonight. only 5 bucks. If anyone else lives in Pittsburgh, I recommend coming down. its at howlers on liberty ave in bloomfield. do it.

  13. Banana@1000MPH says:

    If you have shit to do, you have shit to do, but I think it is great for you to type SOMETHING – even if only "go kill yourselves" just so people aren't sitting around waiting for an entry or anything. Good job.

  14. kset03 says:

    Try backing up your phone then restoring it to factory settings in iTunes. Thats what they'll ask you to try first at the Apple store.

    Any respectable nerd can show you how to do this. If that doesn't work take it to the Apple store.

  15. Josh says:

    Take it in for an appointment (go here to find the store near you, I think there's two in Chicago: http://www.apple.com/retail).

    Make sure you have an appointment before you waste your time going!

    If it's less than a year old, no water damage, no abuse then your problem will be resolved no questions asked.

    Outside of that a new one starts at $300 by resigning a 2 year contract or $100 if you're eligible for a phone upgrade. Dial *new# from your phone and you'll get a text telling you the date of that upgrade eligibility.

    Hope it works out.

  16. Some Young Guy says:

    strip clubs in indiana?!? tell you what man: night moves in bloomington. that's the fuckin place.

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