ah. big news hidden in here today. read carefully

Is it okay to fetishize people for being black or fat or skinny or bald or white or whatever it is that makes them who they are that makes someone want to fuck them? I think it’s okay. I mean, when it comes to boning, there’s a certain level of sort of unbendable preferences that come into play, whether you like it or not, and you just kind of have to either go with it or deny yourself. You can’t reprogram the inherent desire to fuck whoever it is that you want to fuck. If you doubt the truth of this statement, talk to any gay guy who grew up in a strict conservative family. And sure, being gay is different than only wanting to fuck midgets, BUT, IF the only thing you ever want to fuck is a midget, what are you gonna do? Find midgets or settle for fucking something that you don’t want to fuck…and that’s a bummer, and it’s gonna lead to unhappiness.
Back to the question, can you fetishize someone and not feel bad about it? Sure. I mean, I guess there’s the whole question of getting to know a person and being up front and all that, but that’s really just basic manners stuff, right? I think a lot of people’s problems with person fetishization is the “Oh, she only fucks him cuz he’s a big black dude and she gets off on that and that’s it. She doesn’t care about him,” but that’s hardly the kind of attitude that’s unique to people who fetishize others. I’ve got several friends that will fuck anything with a vagina and a drivers license, and sure, call it a crappy way to be, does that mean they just have a vagina and drivers license fetish? Nah. They’re dudes. They’re dudes who don’t want to go to jail for pumping chicks who are still in highschool (or at least not seniors). Just purely getting off on someone and not giving a shit about them as people is pretty common. Is it a crappy thing to do? Eh…grey area. It’s not sweet. But you know what man, back in the day fucking and sweetness got all twisted together for some dumb reason, but they don’t need to be, you know?
Really, at the end of the day, fetishes are just standards, and yeah, they’re odd standards sometimes, but they’re standards, and everyone has to have standards.
Some girls will ONLY fuck dudes with jobs- Good for them. What’s then the difference if they’ll only fuck dudes with GOOD jobs? There’s none. Okay, so then what if they’ll only fuck pizza guys and plumbers who are on housecalls? Don’t tell me that meeting a CPA at a bar and fucking him later that same night is ANY different than fucking the Pizza guy when he stops by with your crazy bread. Strangers having consensual sex after a very brief introduction is no more acceptable because of some job, or some illusion that bars are great places to meet strangers but dominoes isn’t. Okay, sure, the pizza guy is actually WORKING while all this is going down, but hey! Who hasn’t dreamed of a little bone sesh during work now and then? I’m getting off topic. I started this example to lead into fetishes, I know that fucking a pizza guy isn’t exactly a fetish…But it IS an awesome move. Anyway, let’s continue:
Some people will only fuck people who are in good shape. People who are athletic. That’s acceptable. BUT then when people will only fuck fat people, suddenly it’s called a fetish. That’s odd, and seems a bit unfair. When someone says they’ll only date within their own race, that’s kind of old timey and vaguely racist, but people tend to think it’s fine, if a little antiquated/dull. BUT god help you if you like another race of people specifically. Then you’re a pervert. That’s not cool. I mean if I’m attracted to black guys and that’s it, that should be completely fine. Black guys are BORN black, just like women are BORN with vaginas. Now, I’m currently not really all that attracted to black guys as a general rule, but I AM attracted pretty exclusively to women. It’s not a fetish, right? I like people born with vaginas. Not all of them, but I sure as hell am not interested in fucking around with anyone born without a vagina (and that includes anyone, not just people with dicks). So in what way does that differ from having a disposition for black skin and letting that dictate your mate?
People are hung up, and having a meaningful conversation about race in this country is about as easy as talking about eating a wheel of cheese out of an old man’s ass at a Southern Baptist fish fry. There’s gonna be yelling, hurt feelings and lots and lots of judging, no matter how slowly and carefully you tread. My point is, for some reason, I was thinking about how most of the people I’ve been with have been slender, pretty white girls. Almost all of them…and now I’m married and the idea of banging (for example) an overweight black lady is never gonna be anything more than just an idea. Am I missing out? Who knows? But I’m definitely not missing out any more than the guy like me out there who ONLY fucks big beautiful black ladies, or the guy who just fucks midgets or the midget girl who only bangs surfers or the hairdresser that only fucks dudes that wear those crappy v neck shirts that go halfway down their chest and look like what would happen if Nerf made a disco shirt.
I guess the point is that indulging in what you like is cool, and habit is part of humanity and comfort is not to be taken lightly. There’s that one hippy that eats nothing but big macs for every meal of his life. I think it’s gross, but whatever. Good for him. I also think the idea of fucking a fat old man is gross, but there are people out there that line UP for that shit. So get out there and get freaky people. It’s all good. But keep it legal, eh? Most of those laws are in place for a reason.
Oh, and here’s some semi big news: My band, the Lawrence Arms is going on tour in early Novmber. West coast, starting in Arizona on November fifth and ending in SF a week later. Yeah, it’s not the biggest tour in the world, but it’s gonna be great and in support of our new digital EP and seven inch on Fat Wreck. You can buy tickets right on our myspace page I think, or at least you’re supposed to be able to. Technology is strange, man. We’re bringing Teenage Bottlerocket and the Cobra Skulls, so set wieners on hard and get your tickets, everyone.

See you all out there!

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41 Responses to ah. big news hidden in here today. read carefully

  1. John F. says:

    I thought that living here in Boston was kind of cool. Now, with word of you guys playing a West Coast tour, I'm not so sure.

  2. Jorubo says:

    Please, for the love of god/buddha/jesus/allah/or whatever else there is that's holly, come to Salt Lake City!

    This is all that I ask.

  3. Jorubo says:

    Now that I have calmed down, I meant "holy".


  4. Matt Ramone says:

    beex i need some help.

    i'm 24 and after a shitty breakup went from 180 to 166 pounds. i've stopped losing weight but i am still a little flabby. how can i harden up my mid section. crunches seem to be working only real slow and really it's not that much. i drink a lot of beer. is my only option to quit all the booze. i do lots of running. 4 miles 5 times a week. any suggestions on how to stop this plateau i've hit and get a little more hard/lean?

  5. Nicky Dee says:

    I was just wondering if you guys were still going to work on setting up that poll for the Chicago show on Oct. 24th.

    You don't have to stop drinking! Do you have a barbell or dumbbell?

  6. Bridgett says:

    Nicky Dee– what's the poll for?

  7. kylewagoner says:

    Fuck you, west coast.

  8. Nicky Dee says:

    I think it was mentioned in an earlier post (not sure which one).
    That there would be an online poll to choose 2 or 3 songs from each album that they would play, and i was just wondering if it was just an idea or possibly in the works.

  9. Scott says:

    when will the glorious 7-incher be released?

    I got my tickets and I am ready to go for Chicago 10 year show.

  10. Candice says:

    So I shouldn't feel weird about having a fetish for married punk rock stars?

    And come to the east coast for fucks sake!

  11. Kasey says:

    Goddamn. I saw that you were playing the west coast and got excited. Then I looked at the list of shows, and my excitement died. I was really hoping for a show in Portland, but alas it did not happen. Fuck. Come back to Oregon and play again, it's been a long time!

  12. Scott Juniper. says:

    this scott also wants to know when the 7" will be released.

  13. Tim & Rac says:

    once again, i'm with kyle.

  14. Zac says:

    TEMPE! FUCK YA! can't wait.

  15. Laura says:

    hmmm,I had to comment on this one cause it made me think. I don't know if only wanting to fuck a certain kind of person/color can even be considered a fetish. I think that most people have preferences and fetishes. A dude can have a preference that he only fucks skinny white girls, but also can't come until said girl pees on him. I think "fetish" has been thrown around now so much that almost every sexual behavior can be considered fetishism. Anyway…good blog and I will most def. be at your show in SF cause my husband loves you guys and we miss chicago every minute of the day…can you bring us some fucking decent pizza when you come out?

  16. Jayzilla says:

    see you in sfx2, thanks!

  17. Matt Ramone says:


    Thank you for this. I thought I was the only one who noticed/cared. A kink is a preference, a fetish is something you basically can't have satisfying sex without.

    Let's use tramp stamps as an example. If you have a kink for them, you love them but are still willing to fuck chicks who didn't make a huge mistake on spring break. If you have a fetish for tramp stamps, you probably wouldn't be able to shoot your load unless you were hitting that doggy/reverse cowgirl.

    Make sense?

  18. nancy says:

    MattRamone…I thought that whole how do I lose weight was only for the org, you're fucking with my head.

  19. DoYouStillHateMe? says:

    Stoked for the San Diego show! It's been a couple years since you've been here.

  20. Josh says:

    The West Coast can suck it, come to the east coast.

    Though I saw you guys two nights in a row with the Bandits a couple years back (Boston and Provi) so I suppose I shouldn't complain too much.

  21. Banana@1000MPH says:

    Brendan, you fucked over the NW on that Falcon/Sundowner/Larry Arms tour and now you are doing a "west coast" tour without 2 of the 3 states that are actually on the west coast?

    Arizona, you won this round!

  22. Sean says:

    i just jizzed everywhere…

    I hope it can shoot all the way to the west coast…

    Oh, and will you be at the cobra skulls/menzingers show on Aug 2nd?

    that'd be ill… you should sing a song with one/both of them cuz your voice is like a choir of angels chewing on gravel and cigarettes…

    … it's pretty ill.

  23. Sean says:

    …… ill.

  24. Nick says:

    See you in SF.

  25. james bliss says:

    The problem with saying something (like wanting to fuck a black man or a certain type of woman or a morbidly obese person) is just a preference is that none of those people are BORN black or female or obese. One of the main points of critical race and critical gender theory is that bodies don't have essential meanings. That is, different meanings and values are attached to different bodies. That is, people don't have a _race_, but are _raced_, and people don't have a _gender_, but are _gendered_.

    So a black person isn't a thing that exists, he lives in a heterosexist, white supremacist society that has given a very specific meaning to his body. A fat person or a dwarf or an amputee exist within a cultural milieu that attaches certain meanings to their bodies.

    The short version is to say that a person's desires are tied to the values of the society they live in, whether they're totally transgressive desires (like wanting to be fucked by big black men) or totally conformist desires (like wanting to fuck feminine white women [these examples are both assuming a white male's perspective, and I don't mean 'conformist' in the standard punk rock, accusatory way, just as an antonym for 'transgressive']).

    So there we are, race without yelling or crying.

  26. myassisapipebomb says:

    so, lets say two people have been dating for 5 months or so. would giving/receiving a hand job be cheating? would giving/receiving a blow job be cheating? how about flashing dick/tits? where are the lines these days? time constraints considered, what are the boundaries of adultery?!

  27. Mike Destruction says:

    that's a kick ass line up. throw in some goddamn Texas dates!

  28. Jayzilla says:

    id say the line is where ever you perceive it to be — and what your value of the relationship is

    2 safe rules:
    1) would you care if the other person did it
    2) would care if the other person to find out/would you tell them

    in my lame opinion, every relationship is the compatibility of two people and what they agree on together — whether said or unsaid (if its unsaid and she finds out, then finds out and disagrees–shes out [or dumb])

  29. Owner Operator says:

    west coast tour got me all excited. then i remember i live in your favourite west coast town (perth, western australia) that you never come to. last time you were in australia me and some buddies had to fly to sydney (that's 5 hours kiddies) because you canceled the eprth show. then you had the nerve to come to the bar with me and have me offer you a drink. at that point you ordered a shot of tequilla and a tripple soemthing. being star struck that i was i forked over the cash and then bought your tshirts. you suck. fuck you. but in all seriousness. come back to australia? and i don't mind the idea of vinyl, but i don't have a record player and listing to music on my ipod at home sucks when i have a decent stereo system… any chance the ep will be released on cd (or even cassette [hahaha, does music still ever come out on cassette? do they still make them at all?] for that matter?)



    p.s. word verification
    it's like a comic book convention, but for giant birds of prey

  30. blank tapes, says:

    doesn't it feel weird saying/typing digital ep?

  31. Candice says:

    sean- i share your joy. i just bought my plane ticket to chicago and my panties are soaked.

  32. Drunken Acorn says:

    Fuck Yeah man!! you guys are coming to AZ, haven't seen you for awhile. And in november so it'll be nice outside,not the shitty 111 degrees it was today. This just made my shitty ass week.

  33. Joshua says:

    @ James Bliss – i knew youd leave and academic comment once i started reading this post. Wanna go to a show? im about to check the list. ill bug you on your blog/facebook.

  34. Blake says:

    Cassettes still sell fairly well for audio books.

  35. jsin1981 says:

    Hells Yeah! This will be the fourth time I seen The Larry Arms at the Troubador. Gettin' my tix soon before there gone. See all you there!


  36. Sickie27 says:

    …Living in Georgia sucks sometimes (read: all the time).

    I've actually never been with someone INSIDE my race (which isn't saying much, not many Japanese/black guys out there). I just have this thing for white boys. All kinds of white boys. I also like stretch marks. And slightly crooked teeth…

    I also like skinheads and hardcore boys… But I wouldn't be able to stand them outside of the bedroom. But they do have a very special place in my special place.

  37. Mikey says:

    Once me and my friends googled "weird porn" (that sounds a little more orgy than it should. This was a strictly "let's laugh at the results" activity) to see what would come up. We found amputee porn. There was a video of a guy on a bed watching as a nude girl hopped into the room on one leg. Stuff happened and he eventually came on her knee. Or stub. Or whatever. The part where she would have attached wood had she been a pirate. Well I guess she did attach wood. Anyways…

    Any chance of more dates and touring being done? I just did a google search and found out you guys were in Toronto RIGHT before I found out about you guys. At this point the Lawrence Arms are beyond my favourite band so it killed me to find that you guys were here along with Alkaline Trio and then with A Wilhelm Scream. Bah.

    And yeah, I'd love to hear a rough release for the new e.p. Are we talking weeks? Months? Who am I kidding? I won't get an answer. And that's fine 'cause you don't actually owe me anything. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm excited.

  38. Nico says:

    Talking about weird porn etc. One thing that this massive internet is still lacking, is albino porn. Trust me, that shit is close to non-existant. I've searched my ass off, and I've come up mostly empty-handed.

  39. Chris says:

    Please for the love of all that is right in the world, COME TO BOSTON! Man, living on the east coast sucks! Boston needs its fix of the Lawrence Arms.

  40. amanda says:

    Just got ticks to see you boys in Hollywood, waiting for the Anaheim & SLO show to go on sale. Cant wait! Thank you thank you thank you!

  41. Daina says:

    Come to the UK goddamnit.

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