Monthly Archives: July 2009

There’s money on the counter and food in the fridge!

Posted on July 31, 2009 by

Okay, I saw this shit yesterday that I don’t really believe is real. It’s a bubblegum flavored vodka. It tastes EXACTLY like liquid bubblegum. It’s like, the cutting edge in child molester technology. I mean, it tastes like gum, it’s … Continue reading →

Posted in babies, gross things, vacations | 21 Comments

Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen…

Posted on July 30, 2009 by

I’m tired and my kid has a cold. It’s funny, dropping him off at the daycare when I know he’s got a cold…it’s like trying to sneak drugs onto a plane or something. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s a … Continue reading →

Posted in six great uses for parsley you've never though of (number four is ultra sexy) | 25 Comments

popozao!

Posted on July 29, 2009 by

Good morning. Woke up with a case of the unidentifiable panics this morning. Not the best feeling. I don’t know what that’s all about, but every now and then, I start really freaking out for no discernable reason. I think, … Continue reading →

Posted in fart yourself out of awkward situations | 17 Comments

who does number two work for?

Posted on July 28, 2009 by

Life is shit. For me at least, this is terribly and sadly true. Every day, first thing in the morning, I wake up, go into my kid’s room, where I’m greeted with the scent of freshly crapped pants and a … Continue reading →

Posted in menzingers, sean nader | 34 Comments

what a gyp!

Posted on July 27, 2009 by

I’ve got a bad feeling in my soul. My phone is fucked. It’s an iphone, and I recently discussed how fucking genius apple is at making disposable technology, so I know I’m screwed. I know there’s nothing they can do. … Continue reading →

Posted in gypsies and jews | 17 Comments

Healthy white baby? What else you got? They said ‘two koreans and a nigra born with his heart on the outside.’ it’s a crazy world.

Posted on July 24, 2009 by

If my wife isn’t around, I don’t eat. It’s not because she cooks or she makes me eat or anything like that. It’s just that when she’s not around, my routine falls in the shitter. Instead of coming home, cleaning … Continue reading →

Posted in dance away the pains of arthritis right there in your chair | 31 Comments