HI! I’M Home! Come Hang with Me Here, At Home!

Hola, amigos! I know it’s been a while since I rapped at ya, but I been busier than a bullshit artist at a rodeo-stable horsefly’s birthday party. Recently, I been traveling through the beautiful and tropical UK isles wrapping up the touring cycle for the Lawrence Arms’ most recent album, (the destined to be remembered as a classic) Metropole. In fact, this entire year has seen quite a bit of touring and traveling and as a result, it’s been hard for me to keep up with this here blog, and for that I’m sorry. I promise some big changes around here as we dip into the frosty winter months. Music, it turns out, is exhausting.

That being said, it was a blast being in the UK. Thanks to everyone who came out and partied with us. We truly love you guys and we’re beyond thankful that you’d show up and see us after a five year absence. Let’s see if we can pull it together and do it again before five more years have passed, eh?

And now, I’m home with one more big milestone to tackle before I can rest, and THAT, my friends, is what I came here to write about today. Of course, I’m referring to the Red Scare 10 Year Anniversary Spectacular happening this very Saturday at the Metro in Chicago. My other band, the Falcon is playing. My OTHER other band, the Wandering Birds, is ALSO playing. Eleven OTHER bands are ALSO playing. It’s an all day extravaganza that’s gonna feature shenanigans, giveaways, party times and (and this is important), the Metro, in a benevolent display of continued awesomeness, are gonna allow ins-and-outs so you don’t have to suffer in there all day, starving and wanting a smoke. Hell, you can watch the Brokedowns, leave and go to the GMan, pound a few Fireballs, go see your grandma, get a cheesesteak, and then casually cruise back in time to see the Lillingtons. The whole thing is gonna be a real gas.

It bears mentioning that the Falcon doesn’t play very often, and our lineup for this show is one that I’m exceedingly excited for. It’s gonna be Neil and me from the Lawrence Arms, Dan from the Alkaline Trio and rounding out the squad is the mighty Dave Hause of Dave Hause/Loved Ones fame. Truly a mightier Voltron has never been assembled for the purposes of rock and roll. Don’t snooze on the goddamn disco of a lifetime. The best punk label in the game doesn’t turn ten every day, y’all.

The (further) good news is that there are still a few tickets available for this monster rockathon. Here’s a link. Buy now, or forever regret your lazing ways. Oh, it bears mentioning that if you know someone in one of the bands and you think they’re gonna get you in on the guestlist, they probably can’t, because there are THIRTEEN bands and there’s no way that the Metro can accommodate 13 guest lists. Lo mein? There are still some tickets. And with 13 bands, you can’t go wrong.

Oh, and I’m also playing the next day IN the Gman, acoustically, alongside Devin of the Cobra Skulls. I believe there MAY still be one or two tickets left for that one but I could be wrong. I know it’s close.

Sooooooo, yeah. That’s pretty much all I have for you today. I have a lot of band practices this week so by Saturday I think I’ll be ready to finally let my hair down and party for a change. You guys wanna be party to the party? Giddyup.

It’s great to be home. Thanks again, UK. See you Saturday, Chicago!



We Are The Bald

I’m in a band called the Falcon with my friend Dan, who’s one of the Alkaline Trio, and my friend Neil, who’s a Lawrence Arm, Treasure Fleeter, sometimes Smoking Pope and all sorts of other magical things. We just released a new song. First one for us in 8 years. It’s called We Are The Bald and at the risk of overselling it, it’s the single greatest piece of music ever commited to the digital medium. Here is the song, and here are the lyrics. Play it at a dangerous volume and scream along like you’re on fire, burning alive from the inside out, or don’t play it at all.

Love you guys. It’s my birthday and here is my gift to you:

A small dick and a bad attitude

What the fuck do you think I’m gonna do?

I came to cry, and I came to pretend

Rolling with the emperor, sharing clothes with him

and I like the way you look at me

even when i’m heaving up disease

we took a night on the dirty town

til them motherfuckers came and shut us down

I’m the pervert hanging in the halls

We are the bald. We’ve got no hair.

Keep quiet and we can make it out

the fat one will regret running his mouth

I’m an ugly child

you’re a tubby gal

If you’re up for the nausea

I’m up for the challenge

Bounce off these motherfucking walls

We are the bald. We’ve got no hair.